Beach bum for a week

If you want to do anything well, you have to do it often. Whether you’re offering trades, hacking code or flying airplanes. This week I’m working on becoming an expert beach bum.

This expertise, like many perishable skills, requires a sense of self. Do what you love and you will find yourself. There is nobody who is better at being yourself than you.

I’m on Hilton Head Island at the Shipyard plantation, and I am a beach bum. I bike to the beach (which is within walking distance really, but why work so hard?), I read third-rate paperback novels and I consume beach water. Beach water is an adult beverage made by a large conglomerate brewer. A unit of beach water is a 6-pack. Its logo is a number and I’m sure it’s marketed after two types of people. Those who care about calories (not me) and those who care about fibonacci numbers (me). You bring beach water to the beach and you leave it in the ocean.

My kids have already started complaining about the fact there there is ‘quote’ — too much sand at the beach. It gets everywhere, so I understand their discomfort. It’s not easy being a bum sometimes.

I’m not sure why the cast of the Sopranos and Cake Boss drive all the way down to lay in the sun and drink subversive margaritas in plastic cups, but they do. I’m not sure why I haven’t gotten stung by the mosquito of the sea (jelly fish) yet either. Some things you’ll never know. One thing I do hope to learn though is why an eccentric billionaire has hired a CIA agent to investigate Illuminati infiltration of the Vatican, and how ancient art and Soviet gulags fit in with this plot.

Next week I’ll return to coding, trading and flying airplanes. That’s who (I think) I am, this week is for pretending. But the irony is not lost on me about the time Charlie Chaplain entered a Charlie Chaplain look-alike contest. Of course he didn’t win. He came in third. Sometimes the best you can do is to almost become who you are.

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